I remember being so glad and relieved that little Jellybean was in a baby-loving phase as my belly expanded with Peanut. "Oh please, let this phase continue until this baby is born," I thought at the time. As it turns out, the phase did continue -- until about the time Peanut could pull herself up to stand and get in Jellybean's business -- and Jellybean hugged and kissed her baby sister every chance she got.
Now, I see that Peanut is fascinated with babies. She points out every baby she sees and says, "Aww, she's cute." Or, "Isn't she sweet?" When Jellybean was that age, I could say things like, "Soon we'll have a baby at our house," and she would be excited. I can't help but be a little sad for Peanut, that she won't have the chance to have a real baby at her house. We're done having babies at our house. Never say never, but I can't conceive of (pun intended) how it would happen.
It's ironic to me that I feel a bit sad for Peanut about the lack of a younger sibling for her. I used to feel sad for Jellybean that she WOULD have a younger sibling. Toward the end of my pregnancy with Peanut, hormones blazing, I used to cry about how Jellybean was going to have her little world turned upside down when we brought the new baby home. There certainly were a few moments that Jellybean felt like that, but now and ever since, she always wants to know where Peanut is and how she's doing. They love each other more than I can comprehend.
Which brings me back to my original train of thought. Why should I feel sad for Peanut? She has it pretty good. No one is going to suddenly enter her life and take over Mom and Dad's attention for months on end -- not to mention cry in the night to be fed or scream the whole time in the bath tub. In the meantime, she can dote on all the babies we see -- and there will soon be a new one in our neighborhood, in addition to the sweet 8-month-old behind us. She can also continue taking care of all the babies in our house, rocking them and putting them night-night. I think she actually has the best of both worlds.
And don't try to say the sadness I feel for her is actually MY sadness. I have what I can handle with two kids, and I know that. I also like to sleep all night.
1 comment:
You know, that was just one bonus of having the boys so close together. Theo has NO CLUE what it was like to not have a sibling (for that matter, I have no clue what it's like to have just one kid since we have had two for all but the first 15 mos. and were expecting another for all but 6 of those!), but yet there's still that rivalry. Mostly that's because Max is SUCH a squeaky wheel and I give him what he wants more often than I should just to get him to stop whining! But I too cried and cried (mostly when I found out I was pregnant) because I thought I was robbing Theo of his babyhood. But even though they are very competitive and very physical (as you saw over the holidays!) they actually have a great time together. It makes me wish I'd had a sibling, someone who had the same experiences growing up that I did. I can't imagine having grown up with someone in the house who was almost the same age as me. I hear you on the being done with babies. Max is finally getting to a tolerable age, so I have no desire to go back to the baby stage.
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