What's your schedule?

When organizing our bookshelves the other day, I came across some old schedules and routines for the girls that I had typed up for babysitters. They involved a lot of diapers and bottles and tons of minute detail about how things should be done so as to maintain the status quo.

Now that the girls are getting older, the daily schedule and routines are much simpler. It got me wondering (as I often do) what other kids' -- and hence parents' -- schedules are like. Here's our current schedule. What is yours like?

7:30-7:45 a.m. Wake up
8 a.m. Breakfast
10 a.m. Morning snack
Noon Lunch
1 p.m. Peanut nap begins
1:45 Jellybean nap/quiet time begins
3:30ish Naps and quiet times done
3:45 Afternoon snack
5:30-6 Dinner
8 p.m. Get ready for bed, read a story
8:15-8:30 Bedtime

The inevitable conversation about death

The complicated, deep, involved conversations always happen when you least expect them. We were having lunch, bantering, our usual, when Jellybean started the following conversation. Luckily, I kept my composure, held back my tears and somehow, some way was able to hang with her. (Names are changed to protect the innocent)

Jellybean: Who are Grandma Kelly's parents?

Me: Her parents are my Grandma and Grandpa O'Neal.

J: Where are they?

Me: They died before you were born.

J: Was Grandma sad?

Me: Yes, very sad.

J: Does she miss them?

Me: Yes, and so do I.

J: Is she looking for new parents?

Me: No, you only have two parents, so those were her only parents. They would have LOVED you and been so proud of you. I know that for sure.

J: Who are Grandpa Dan's parents?

Me: My Grandma and Grandpa Brown.

J: Did they die too?

Me: Yes, they died before you were born.

J: Was Grandpa sad?

Me: Yes, he was very sad.

J: Does he get to have new parents?

Me: No, no one gets to have new parents. Grandma and Grandpa's parents were MY grandparents, and I got to go to their houses and play with them and have lots of fun like you do with your grandparents.

J: Do you miss them?

Me: So much, I think about them all the time.

J: Why did they have to die? Are you going to die?

Me: Yes, everyone dies eventually, even you will. But not for a really long time. Can you count to 100?

J: No!

Me: Well, that's how many years you get to live, or more.

When she asked if I was going to die, I just couldn't lie to her. I made a split-second decision that the truth was the way to go. What do you think about that? What would you have said?

Taking it to the next level

The girls are now 2 1/2 and 4 1/2, and while this may seem obvious to you, I hadn't really grasped what their ages signify for us until very recently. Because I've been operating in my typical parent-blind-to-the-obvious mode, I have just now realized: Our kids aren't little anymore.

I know, they are still young kids, but they're changing so quickly right now. They're both in preschool and becoming increasingly independent at home and away from home. Hallelujah! I thought this day would never come -- so much so, that it took me by surprise on New Year's weekend when we visited some friends out-of-state.

Our friends' kids are 6 and 3, ideal playmate age. We were looking forward to all being together for the weekend and giving the kids a chance to run around and have fun. The kids had a fantastic time together. At least, I assume they did, because I hardly saw the girls the entire time we were there. All four kids played together, initiated games, and just generally had fun. This was totally new to me: My kids know how to play together and with others, without the involvement of adults!

When Jellybean was born, I felt like I was going to be the mother of an infant forever. It's difficult to fathom what lies ahead and how quickly it comes (especially when you're sleep-deprived). She was still pretty little when Peanut was born, so I didn't feel like I "graduated" to the next level since I had a new infant to care for.

But now that there are no more babies coming, I get to reap the rewards of moving on up the proverbial parenting ladder. I love having two preschoolers, and I'm savoring it. I'm also learning how to anticipate the next phase and its rewards. Next stop, later this year: entering "real" school.

Holiday wrap-up

The holidays came and went more quickly than I ever remember them doing. It's cliche to say that I had a lot to do and was running around like a mad person -- but I was. Here are a few of the things that kept me occupied.

We did 4 separate Christmases this year. Yes, four. I mean, who does that? More than ever, I am hell-bent on reconciling the family Christmas dispute that continues between some members of L's and my family. Either that, or I will go on a solo island retreat while everyone else "celebrates" four Christmases in one week. Actually, that's sounding better by the minute.

L and I didn't get presents for each other again this year. We like the tradition we started last year of shopping for people who really need it. It can be a major project (read: going to three different toy stores looking for the exact toy the 3-year-old boy asked for), but I much prefer it to exchanging boring old stuff between us.

One thing of note about shopping for those less fortunate: Each person we shopped for asked for socks. They could ask for anything in the world, and they wanted socks. I now think of them every time I put socks on my feet.

Speaking of asking for anything in the world, the girls' requests for Santa were kind of head-scratchers, but I have to give them points for practicality. Jellybean asked for a purple suitcase. Peanut asked for a "dark orange cup" and a candy cane. All the toys the elves make all year long, and it came down to a suitcase and a cup. Santa did a great job choosing which suitcase and which cup to give them -- and they're both thrilled.

Putting that all behind me (well, except the sock thing, and maybe the family Christmas thing...), I'm ready for 2010. Whatever it has in store, bring it on!