One-on-one time

Because Jellybean is at school all day long, Peanut and I have every weekday to ourselves now. I really thought Peanut would miss Jellybean terribly during the day and that Jellybean wouldn't want as much to do with Peanut anymore. It has turned out to be just the opposite.

Peanut seems to relish in Jellybean being gone: all the toys to herself, no one (besides Mama) telling her what to do, uncorrupted imagination scenarios. When we get home from taking Jellybean to school, Peanut dives right into the toys and starts talking to herself and pretending. She doesn't even want me to play with her (I've gone from the entertainment hub of both girls to a complete wallflower in less than a month). She likes to draw a picture for Jellybean each day, but other than that, we hardly mention the kindergartener.

Jellybean, on the other hand, throws her arms around Peanut when we pick her up at school. She asks for Peanut to kiss her hand each morning (from the book The Kissing Hand) when we drop her off. Jellybean always says she's too busy to miss Peanut, but she's certainly glad to see her when school is out.

Peanut and I have two school years to hang out before she goes to kindergarten (let us not speak of that again). I had almost two years with Jellybean before Peanut was born. So, this is our time to spend together, and I love being able to learn more about her each day. I am definitely reaping the rewards of their age difference.

The inevitable conversation about death

The complicated, deep, involved conversations always happen when you least expect them. We were having lunch, bantering, our usual, when Jellybean started the following conversation. Luckily, I kept my composure, held back my tears and somehow, some way was able to hang with her. (Names are changed to protect the innocent)

Jellybean: Who are Grandma Kelly's parents?

Me: Her parents are my Grandma and Grandpa O'Neal.

J: Where are they?

Me: They died before you were born.

J: Was Grandma sad?

Me: Yes, very sad.

J: Does she miss them?

Me: Yes, and so do I.

J: Is she looking for new parents?

Me: No, you only have two parents, so those were her only parents. They would have LOVED you and been so proud of you. I know that for sure.

J: Who are Grandpa Dan's parents?

Me: My Grandma and Grandpa Brown.

J: Did they die too?

Me: Yes, they died before you were born.

J: Was Grandpa sad?

Me: Yes, he was very sad.

J: Does he get to have new parents?

Me: No, no one gets to have new parents. Grandma and Grandpa's parents were MY grandparents, and I got to go to their houses and play with them and have lots of fun like you do with your grandparents.

J: Do you miss them?

Me: So much, I think about them all the time.

J: Why did they have to die? Are you going to die?

Me: Yes, everyone dies eventually, even you will. But not for a really long time. Can you count to 100?

J: No!

Me: Well, that's how many years you get to live, or more.

When she asked if I was going to die, I just couldn't lie to her. I made a split-second decision that the truth was the way to go. What do you think about that? What would you have said?